Two Small Lines.

Two Small Lines.

‘So, what does it say?’ your anxious eyes, desperately search mine for an answer. The urine stick, is tucked away safely, in the confines of my handbag. I hold it close to myself. I inhale sharply, as I brace myself for the unavoidable.

“Exactly what we had hoped it would say. There was barely any chance of it being the opposite anyway.”I imitate the masked facies, like a pro. A minor bump in the road; I gulp down the nerves. My medical brain frantically reassures me. With mifepristone and misoprostol on my side, I totally got this. We totally got this?

I read your relieved mood. The tension; once palpable, now seemed to solely rest-on my shoulders. Your infectious laughter, transports me to happier times. Your unmistakeable charm, had played centre stage, two weeks ago. I bought all your lies, ate right into your false promises of forever. I fell back into your comfortable embrace, as I found myself blanketed from all your “almost truths”.  And fall we did!  We flew, reminiscent of our older days. I clutch the test closer, afraid it might spill out. Betrayal can truly, be a double edged sword. I awoke; to the harsh reality of your broken promises and forgotten, intoxicated declarations.

DNA can be a funny thing, as we’ve been taught innumerable times in our biology class. The building blocks of who we are, the very foundation of our existence. Who would have ventured then, that yours and mine combined could bring an avalanche so phenomenal- it tumbles even the tallest building and leaves  the strongest foundation in ruins!

My pulse quickens. It dawns upon me, that this connects us in a permanent way . There’s no band aid to “us”, once this secret is confessed. No easy way to rip off our damaged skin, to shed all the destruction. I look across at your treacherous face. 46 chromosomes fused perfectly. 46 chromosomes, bridging the gap and traveling the distance that our unrelenting hearts couldn’t !  Wouldn’t it be easier if I just shared this with you ? An eternal memory, of how my forgiving spirit overlooked all your charades. And what a show you displayed !

‘ So now that it’s cleared up…” you trail off; clearly preparing to make your exit. You bow, gracelessly. A deafening round of applause, silences the inner gnomes of my panic. I breathe in all your features. The contours of your face would meet mine in perfection; I decide with a conclusive smile.

I shuffle past the glass doors. The outline of your retracting form, makes me giddy! As I cut the cord lose, I prepare to step into the familiar arms of closure. I collapse onto the cold pavement. With trembling hands, I retrieve the stick out of my bag.

Two positive lines on a stick, and ten negative ones- crossing your name out from my heart.

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