The Conference Of Vestigial Organs

The Conference Of Vestigial Organs

First time it ever happened
There was the ‘Conference of Vestigial Organs’.
Not only the Vestigials, but others who felt neglected and hurt by the cruelty
All were present to voice their opinions voluntarily.
Separated by their role in evolution and current functions
Were brought together by the injustice and discriminations.
They were all filled with rage
Against the human race.

Appendix was the guest of honor
Being the most famous vestigial organ.
He said, “It’s high time we raise our voice
To stop the brutal sacrifice.
Would they do the same thing to Heart or Brain
If those were in pain?
No, they’d make every effort to treat
But we are considered just a piece of dead meat.
The only reason I’m so well-known and mighty
Is coz I don’t hesitate to unleash my fury.
Look at the poor Plica Semilunaris
Most people don’t even know she exists.”

Seeing the Appendix turn fiery red, came forth the Wisdom Teeth,
The oldest and the wisest ones asked him to take a deep breath.
Meanwhile the mic was passed to Coccyx: the Tail Bone
In a sobbing voice he said, “I’ve become forgetful due to years of growing alone.
Sometimes during fetal development I forget to regress
And the new born human baby causes much distress.
There may be a tumor or a tail, which may be unsightly
But they just cut me out; how can I ever take that lightly?
I miss Tail, my companion and dear friend
In the lower primates, what a glorious time we spent!”

The room filled with applause as the Tonsils came
How often these lovebirds are separated, it is such a shame!
They shared their story of falling in love while living across the Tongue,
Everything was good, till came the evil Streptococcus.
He charmed the lady, and became a frequent visitor
Until one fine day she was taken away by a man in a green suit: The Doctor!

They left the audience teary eyed;
The next speaker you might not consider fully qualified.
The store house of Bile; Yeah! The Gall Bladder,
Had grown tired and depressed of living in the shadow of the all-powerful Liver.
He said, “I’m considered just an accessory,
So I’m frequently removed; mostly unnecessary.
When Kidney has stones, they’re dissolved and extracted
When I have them, I’m simply resected.”

Then came Thymus
The gland that does itself regress.
Critical for the T-lymphocytes
Around puberty it atrophies.
He said, “Such great is my plight,
Forget humans, even against Mother Nature I’ve to fight”.

Lastly came Wisdom Teeth: the four Elders
Of the corners of the Jaw, they’re the dwellers.
They said, “In the herbivores, we used to chew grass
But in humans, we’re just a space-occupying mass.
When we don’t get space, we cause pain and sometimes don’t erupt
But without any hesitation, they extract us in a New York minute.”

Finally the Conference was concluded;
And the following important points were noted.
“We’re given no respect for our seniority,
Though most of us still provide them with immunity.
We might have many other functions,
But poor knowledge and lack of research are their greatest limitations.”

A verdict was reached and an appeal was made to humans;
While the Appendix was sincerely requested to deal with his anger management problems.
The appeal said, “We’re not against our resection and extraction,
We just want you to consider that as the last option.
Like the Brain, we want to be treated with equality and dignity,
After all, we’ve been active for centuries in your ancestors, like the monkey.”
At last there was a suggestion to be put to action,
To deal with their depression, there should be a regular Group Therapy Session!!!


N.B.: Pic taken after modification from ‘The Awkward Yeti’.

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